time zones / lifetimes
Dear Ciara,
Recently, I have been feeling split across time zones and lifetimes—multifaceted, maybe, or just scattered.
A part of me soaked to the bone in Jimbōchō, huddling under lanterns to escape the rain, a real Takako Morisaki.
A part of me here in the garden, soaking in sunlight, slick sweat skin, my fingers deep in the soil and my eyes full of green.
Another version of me swishing foreign consonants around his mouth, sitting in his grandmother’s conservatory, the roof heavy with snow.
And one of me there with you now, outstretched on your balcony, tangled in potato vines and the threads of your laughter.
I want it all. All those lives at once. All those experiences. This is my curse, isn’t it? To want to live a thousand lifetimes, for one to never quite feel like enough. The double-edged sword of a voracious reader, maladaptive daydreamer—I’m always searching for more. How can you be content when there are a million other lives to live?
The song for today is:
Tea House — The Kyoto Connection
Based on my streams of consciousness today—that feeling of being torn between different pathways—I think this song works. While it is not quite Japanese City Pop, I can imagine it playing softly in a café in Tokyo, my nose buried in a book.
Love,
The Gardener