Dear Ciara

change

Dear Ciara,

There is change on the horizon. I’m not going to say anything about it yet, mostly in fear of jinxing things, but this change will likely have a significant impact on my future.

While it is a positive change, there’s so much to it that I am beginning to feel overwhelmed. This is exacerbated by the fact that I have just returned to the work, the beginning of the year always a chaotic, stressful time in my industry. I can feel the stress starting to swell in my body. Stress makes me sick, tired, emotional. It changes me from a normally organised person to a serial procrastinator.

This week, I’ve felt myself beginning to pull back: I’m not putting in as much effort at work; I keep leaving the administration related to this change to The Organist, which is incredibly unfair; and despite having friends in town, I am reluctant to see them.

It’s at times like these that I need to remind myself to turn to nature. Let the sunlight drape over my skin and the sound of the cicadas and the yellow honeyeaters fill my ears. And I will go and see my friends tonight, though I will also prioritise my rest and only stay for a short time.

The song for today is:

Little Spouse — Taylor Demp

Why can’t I get this song out of my head? I don’t normally listen to songs so country, but I find this one so catchy.

Love,

The Gardener

#confessions #cutler #rants #thoughts